Yo' Mama is so nasty, the animals at the petting zoo make her wear gloves.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I took her to the zoo, the security guard thanked me for bringing her back.
Two hedgehogs are in the middle of the road by a zebra crossing. One says, "Don't cross here!" The other one says, "Why not?" The first one says, "Look what happened to this zebra!"
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement? A: Hold a tupperware party!
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks.''What's your name?'' The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?'' ''Yeah,'' says the frog. ''I'd like to borrow some money....
Q: Why did the ant fall off the toilet bowl? A: He got pissed off.
What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? He keeps coming and coming and coming...
What's the only animal that has to be oiled? A mouse. Why? 'Cause it squeaks!
Q: How do you talk to a fish? A: You drop him a line.
What's green and red, and goes 100 mph? A frog in a blender!
What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? Scewed
How do you catch a unique animal? You 'neak up on it.
Why do moths fly with their legs open? Cause they've got huge mothballs!
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy g...
One day, a farmer walked into a bar and asked the bartender for the strongest thing in the bar. "What's wrong, fella?" asked the bartender. ''Some things you just can't explain." ''Try me.'' "Okay. I was milking my cow this morning and I...
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
Jack tells his doctor how he can no longer sustain an erection. After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "The problem is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing I can do unless you're willin...
What animal should you never play cards with? A cheetah!
Q: Why didn't they make two Yogi bears? A: Because someone made a Boo Boo.
In my past life I was a horse; now I'm just hung like one.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought Meow Mix was a rap CD for cats.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her smile makes puppies whimper.
Yo' Mama is so stanky, monkeys throw poop on her at the zoo.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she tried to drown her pet fish.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she set a penguin free from the Bronx Zoo.
Yo' Mama is so fat, the World Wildlife Foundation gave her a grant for her liposuction.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she got hauled into the dog pound for walking down the street without a license.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she looks at roadkill, it runs away.
Yo' mama so old, she took her driver's test on a T-Rex!
Yo' Mama is like a saint -- a St. Bernard.