As we learned in Green Lanterns #40, DC Universe superheroes in search of love — or lovin’ — don’t turn to Tinder or Grindr. Instead, they download Caper, the hot new dating app that weeds out those pesky civilians, and keeps the focus on the capes-and-tights crowd. Now, in celebration of Valentine’s Day, DC Comics has released a playful fake ad for Caper that makes some … interesting … swipe choices.

For instance, in the animated video posted on Twitter, Wonder Woman, Superman, Aquaman, Harley Quinn, Lex Luthor and Cyborg all receive a thumbs up, with a swipe right, while Batman, Catwoman, Lois Lane, The Flash, Steve Trevor, John Stewart, Jessica Cruz, Lobo, The Joker, Batgirl, Nightwing, Green Arrow and Booster Gold get swiped left. That is, they’re rejected.

Looking for love in the DC Universe? Better get on Caper, the Super Hero dating app! Who would you swipe right on for #ValentinesDay? pic.twitter.com/mH3ayJPvWO

— DC (@DCComics) February 14, 2018

There appears to be some anti-Gotham bias at play here, which is somewhat understandable, considering that any romantic night out stands a good chance of being disrupted by a laughing-gas attack, or an army of penguins fitted with rocket launchers. And we get that The Joker and Lobo bring with them a lot of drama (a lot), that Batman is a bit too moody, and that a little of Green Arrow and Booster Gold can go a long way. But Nightwing? John Stewart? Batgirl? Come on.

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We’ll also overlook that Caper, by its very definition, is intended for exclusively for the super-set — sorry, Lois Lane and Steve Trevor — skip to the real winner of DC’s ad: Alfred Pennyworth, and probably anyone lucky enough to go out with him. Sure, he’s a little thin on top, but he’s also a good cook, a sharp dresser and an unflappable nurturer. Who wouldn’t want that match?